I WANT TO GET THIS DONE

Jones tied the knot, Smith coiled the rope and Brown threw the brick over the twelve-foot wall leaving a long length of line hanging to the ground. Jones pulled on the line jamming the brick between two of the lethal looking curved spikes set into the top brickwork. This was their sixth attempt and Smith was still not convinced the brick would hold. The time: three in the morning. The weather: a full moon. The thought travelling through Smith’s head: this was bloody stupid it was so bright they needed sunglasses. 

  He mentioned this to Jones but it was Brown who answered, “I don’t know about you but I want to get this done so stop whinging and get on with it.” Brown was in charge although Jones and Smith both disputed his authority. 

Jones shrugged and said, “Don’t be obstructive, Smith. You know we need to get this done tonight and if you wanted sunglasses, you should’ve brought them with you. Hey, but they’d be moon glasses, wouldn’t they,” and grinned.

Smith scowled, sighed with the confirmation that Jones was in fact still a child and grabbed the rope. “Blanket,” he said.

Jones, continuing the moon thread he’d started, said, “What, to hide under.”

Smith snatched the blanket from Brown, hung it around his neck and climbed the rope. Struggling to grip with one hand, he tossed the blanket over the spikes. “It’s not thick enough,” he whispered, suddenly fearing being heard above being seen.

“Speak up," yelled Jones. “We can’t hear you.” 

Smith rolled his eyes and shouted, “It’s not thick enough.”

“No need to shout; you’ll wake everyone,” said Brown.

“Really? Anyway, why is it me who’s doing the climbing? Jones is better at it.”

“That might be true but he’s best at knots.” replied Brown.

“He’s already tied the knot.”

“But we’ll need others,” said Jones, looking at the slowly crumbling brick. “I need to be ready.” 

“Oh, why do I bother,” muttered Smith. “I’m not going over these spikes; they're poking through the blanket.” This time his yell underlined his annoyance. “I can’t hang on much longer.”

Brown said to Jones, “There’s a mattress in the back of the van, can you go and get it.”

“Please.”

“Just do it.”

“Please.”

“Oh, very well, please.”

“Did you hear me,” said Smith and starting to slip said more frantically, “Dave, did you hear me, I can’t hang on any longer.”

“I thought we said no names,” Brown replied, looking up at Smith slowly sliding.

“Yeah, well these aliases are stupid. I’m coming down.”

“I’d appreciate it if you could obey the rules.”

“Okay, Brown. If you say so,” said Smith, nearly reaching the ground.

Jones struggled back tugging a large single mattress, “What’s this in your van for?” he asked.

“Think about it, students, nights out,” replied Brown looking at a confused face.

As Jones put the mattress down Smith landed and the dislodged brick took less than a second to knock him senseless causing him to slump onto the mattress.

“Oh, I see, that’s what I call proper planning.”

“That's why I’m the boss,” replied Brown.

“Is that a dog?”

“Two, I think and big.”

“And a whistle. Time to go,” said Brown. "Grab Smith’s other arm and we’ll sling him in the back of the van.

“What about getting this done?”

“We’ll have another go when Smith recovers but you’ll have to do the climbing.”

“In your dreams,” said Jones, glancing at Smith. “You’re the boss, you do it.”

“No way. Look at Smith and all that claret.”

“I am. Maybe we need a rethink; there must be a better way. By the way, I meant to ask, how did you intend to get the barrels over the wall?”

“Tie them onto the rope, of course.”

“But the knot man was on the wrong side of the wall," said Jones smugly.

“Yeah, oh well, best thing to do is to postpone the party.”

“Or we could just buy the beer, I suppose,” said Jones as they propped Smith against the van while Brown opened the rear doors.