Maud
Maud was sitting on the huge squishy sofa leaning against the arm cushions with her legs spread out along its length. She was comfy. The cushions were plumped and her right foot, the one with the crepe bandage wrapped around the ankle, was raised on a large, dark orange cushion slightly damp from the after effects of the ice pack. Naturally her right leg had no stocking and a slight discolouration, blue maybe, showed just above the bandage. The cream, silk negligee with the frilled banding was loosely covered with an equally silky pale blue dressing gown slightly ruffled around her waist. She had been in pain. Quite a lot of pain in fact but that had dulled thanks mainly to a copious supply of gin. The discomfort she is feeling in no way detracted from her natural beauty. In fact the effects of the gin and her slightly revealing apparel make an incredibly sexy picture. The silk brocade curtains were thrown open as wide as possible, flooding the spacious sitting room with rays of sunlight light from the tall, elegant Georgian windows.
Billy, her husband's valet stiffly,
said, “will there be anything else madam?”
To which she replied, “Oh Billy,
please don’t be so bloody formal. I’m not worth it. You’ve been marvellous and
thank you. I think you’ve thought of everything.”
“That’s very kind madam and an
intriguing thought. I’ll bring your five o’clock gin at the appropriate time.”
Maud picked up her glass and twiddled
the silver swizzle stick with a lucky enamelled horseshoe top. The horseshoe had
no meaning for her. She was not in any way superstitious nor did she believe in
fate. As she sipped her drink she fiddled with the long string of natural
pearls that hung around her neck. She never took them off. They had been a gift
to wear on her wedding day when she had dismissed her friend Issy’s persistence
that they were doubly unlucky being both gifted and worn on her special day.
“Phooey,” she had said, “I don’t
believe in all that mumbo jumbo fate stuff as you well know Issy.” She had no
time for black cats, magpies and hooting owls and certainly did not hesitate
about walking under ladders.
The familiar beep, beep and she put
down her drink and pressed answer to hear, “hello darling, got your message.
How’s the ankle today?” No more need be said. The voice so distinctive with a
kind of stuttering almost laughing lisp.
“Hi Issy. It’s OK I suppose. Could’ve
been worse, I could’ve broken it.” she replied, “Billy’s taking good care of me
though and the gin’s taking good care of the pain. Billy prescribed one an
hour, not too strong though. Just enough. He’s a marvel but so upright and
proper. I’m trying to get him to relax a bit but it’s a struggle. He’s too
professional. Could you not have called earlier? I’m so bored.”
“Struggled to get up…...you know. I’m
sure you remember how it is with a new man. Then we went to lunch at Gino’s
place and…. well, that place is just
so infectious, time absolutely zooms by. Still I’m here now. He’s a hunk though
- Billy. Isn’t he? Have you ever thought….”
“What…..No. Certainly not,” she almost stammered. She could hear the
taunting chortle in Issy’s voice. “How could you think such a thing? You know I
absolutely adore Tommy.”
“Well Tommy’s away a lot isn’t he?
and…. well, you know how it goes. There’s time for play when he’s away and all
that.” Issy said laughing out loud.
“Stop
it or I’ll hang up,” said Maud with some passion.
“Oh darling don’t be so serious I’m
only playing. You know what I’m like. Trying to cheer you up. But all the
same…...”
“That’s it. That’s your last chance.
Anymore and I will hang up.” But she
said this with a small laugh. Then said, “You're right though, he is a hunk and
perhaps if it weren’t for Tommy who knows.” Disappearing into a small daydream.
Dropping her voice to a more serious
tone, Issy said, “so how’d you manage to do it then? How’d you manage to get
yourself another lazy time on the couch? I assume you’re on that squishy sofa
of yours?”
“Of course I am. I struggled down at
midday with the help of Billy of course. He wrapped my ankle in ice but that
has gone now. How’d it happen? Well, I was meeting Twizzle in town for lunch at
the Brasserie on the High Street but was late as usual. I had left the Merc in
the car park behind the supermarket. Luckily Twizzle had managed to get a
parking space on the High Street opposite the restaurant. I was rushing, almost
running as I came out of the alleyway. I stupidly did not look where I was
going and caught my stiletto in a drain cover just as I stepped into the road.
You know my bright red pair with the six inch heels. The heel….”
“Haven’t I told you before those
heels are lethal? I don’t know why you persist with them. This isn’t the first
time, is it?” Izzy exclaimed.
“I know, I know and that I’m stupid
to wear them. Anyway the heel snapped and I twisted my ankle as I fell over on
the edge of the road. And that was that. Twizzle saw me through the restaurant
window, came out and crossed the road. She got me to her car and took me home
where Billy assumed command. Tommy is away of course. This morning Billy went
to collect my car but it was not there. He thinks it has been stolen and
reported it to the Police.”
“Well that was stupid wasn’t it? And just another stupid thing you’ve done.
You are always getting into one sort of fix or another. We all worry about you
being so accident prone. I bet Billy’s fed up with putting you back together. A
shame about the car but it’s about time you changed it anyway.” Issy said.
“Still a few days on the couch and you’ll be fine. Then we’ll go shopping for a
nice new racy number. Anyway I’ve got to go, I do believe I am wanted if you
know what I mean. Will phone tomorrow and say hello to your gorgeous Billy for
me.” Then she hung up.
They exit the car park turning left
onto the High Street and accelerate rapidly reaching high speed as they come
upon the lady who is running out of the alleyway and about to cross the road
but suddenly catches her heel and falls just as they zoom past. George looks
back to see her sprawled on the ground but is satisfied they did not hit her.
“Is there anything you need madam?”
asks Billy.
“Please, please call me Maud Billy. I
cannot cope with all this formality. It’s simply not me. And no thank you. You
have been brilliant as usual. I have everything. Oh and no gin today. I think I
overdid it yesterday.”
“Thank you …..Maud. I will address you
as …..Maud as long as your husband is not here. Otherwise I prefer to be
formal.” Then the phone rings.
“Hi Maud,” says the familiar giggling
voice, “how’s everything today?”
“Much better,” replies Maud, “I think
I’ll be OK to walk about tomorrow. The swelling’s gone down.”
Issy says, “seriously though you were
really lucky. I bet you don’t know how lucky you’ve been. Do you?”
“What do you mean?” said Maud, “I
think I’ve actually been rather unlucky to have sprained my ankle and broken a heel of a favourite shoe.”
“I thought so. I spoke to Twizzle a
few minutes ago. She said she saw you out of the restaurant window and saw your
car go flying past just as you were about to step into the road. If you hadn’t
stumbled Twizzle said you would have been hit for sure. And that would have
been something wouldn’t it? Killed by your own car. How ironic that would have
been. Must have been the car thieves.”
“Do you know I didn’t even notice? I
was so intent upon not being late. Seems I might have had a lucky break after
all.”
“Fate, that's what it is. Fate. Pure
and simple. If you hadn’t fallen you would most likely be dead. Twizzle said
the car was really travelling fast.”
“But I don’t believe in fate and all
that stuff. Do I?”
“Well, maybe it’s about time you
did.” Issy said, “and start to take things a bit more seriously. Then perhaps
you will stop having all these mishaps and we can begin to sleep a lot easier.
One downside if you did though. Billy would be out of a job not having to
routinely look after you. You would not have that gorgeous hunk of man to dream
about anymore would you? And I know you secretly do, don’t you?”
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